“Didn’t you wear that shirt yesterday?”

How often have you been asked a question similar to the one above? When you really reflect and think about it, you may realize you have been asked this style of question infrequently. But why is that? Is it because people are too nice to point it out, or do they simply not even realize it?

Minutia is stored in short-term memory

Small details in interactions between people are quickly forgotten, if noticed at all. The clothes you wear, the way you smell, an embarrassing free-throw you missed, the way you tripped down those stairs, are all examples of details people will not even notice. The only person who notices all these details about yourself, is you.

But I still think everyone notices!

Reflect on a recent gathering you had with friends and/or family, and ask yourself the following questions:

• What were they wearing?
• How many times did each person use the bathroom?
• Did anyone have any embarrassing or humiliating mess ups, such as spilling a drink or falling?

I can guarantee you weren’t able to answer those questions to the degree you thought others would answer in regards to you. If you cannot recall these details about others, why should they?

So what if someone did notice?

If a friend or family member did notice some detail you wished they didn’t, what would it matter? They will quickly forget about it, and if they don’t, they will overlook it. And, the worst thing you can do is point out your flaws; nothing will harm your case like saying “I am wearing a shirt with a stain on it” while wearing a shirt with a stain on it. You cannot control what other people notice, but you can mediate it in the unlikely event that they do.

The larger scope of the conclusion

What you should take away from this article isn’t that people don’t notice what clothes you are wearing, rather, it’s to remain calm and relaxed in social situations and stop fearing silent judgment from others. No one’s opinion matters, but that’s a whole other discussion. Moreover, you cannot be insecure of a detail that you are unaware of. In the same nature, others cannot judge you over a detail they are unaware of. And finally, you cannot control what people notice and what they believe. Stop stressing over problems that don’t exist!